It’s crazy how quickly each year passes. It seems like each year goes by faster and faster as my kids get older and older. I’ve never been one to reflect back on a year, in either a positive or negative way, but this year I have been. A lot! This has been a special year for me. We moved into a new home in March, we also started attended church in March, I have started a relationship with God which has gifted me immeasurably, I have found ways to inspire and motivate myself through other amazing women and have started to learn to love and have confidence in myself, just the way I am.
Our move was nothing short of stressful; from beginning to end. But once we got our keys and were permanently in our house the stress wasn’t there, as much. I’ll leave it at that, for now.
I think that with our move it felt like a good time to rediscover things that had NOT been a part of our lives for quite a while. Let me back track a bit. For a good part of 2017 I had these feelings that something was wrong. I didn’t feel right and tried to figure out what I needed to make myself okay again. Doing this is much like trying to get puzzle pieces to fit into the wrong puzzle. It was hard and frustrating. I figured it was either post partum depression, since my youngest was born in March, or something was out of whack with my hormones, which turned out to be normal, to my dismay. I just got used to the fact that I was not going to feel like myself for a while, maybe.
Fast forward to us moving into our new home in 2018 and I was getting feelings, nudges if you will, to reconnect with my spirituality. I had had these nudges for a while, I just wasn’t very good at listening to them. 🙂 My friend had been going to a non denominational church for a little while and invited me to go with her one Sunday. So I went and I loved it! I got my husband on board with it too and now we I’m happy to say we attend church as a family. I have felt such a calm come over me since I made this decision and have dove deeper into establishing a relationship with God that has helped me tremendously with handling my children during difficult times, with my own struggles of confidence and self love and with comparison to other women and social media and has helped me view my marriage differently as well as my husband. It has been my saving grace for 2018 and I can’t wait to see how much more my relationship grows with Him in 2019.
2018 has been a journey of finding myself, who I really am, and finding the things that help motivate and inspire me. I started with a Pinterest board on inspirational words and quotes that I could look to everyday or whenever I felt the need for a word of encouragement. I still use that board but now I’ve shifted to, surprisingly, social media, Instagram in particular, and podcasts. I have un-followed certain people on Instagram that weren’t spreading a positive message or influencing me in the way my heart and mind needed, if that makes sense. I have chosen to follow certain people who have a positive, uplifting message to spread, have great family values and are genuinely good people. That alone will inundate your newsfeed with the most inspirational and positive vibes anyone could ever need.
As far as the podcasts go, I’m still a newbie. Once I find one or two of something I really like I don’t venture out to find more. 😦 That is one fault I have. So the two podcasts that I have gained so much confidence and self love from are The Alison Show and RISE with Rachel Hollis. I also listen to RISE Together with Rachel and Dave Hollis, which focuses more on relationships (marriage). If you are like me and want or need some positive words and fun people to listen to I highly recommend them both.
I can tell that 2019 is going to be a year of personal growth and development for me. To say I’m a little sad that it took me almost 35 years to finally get here isn’t at all untrue but at least I have gotten here. I have removed those that had a negative influence on my thoughts and feelings and have replaced them with positivity. I am slowly making progress on myself as an individual, wife, mom, daughter, sister and friend. Every day is new and there is always something to learn in each day. I want to continue to rise with a grateful heart and sincerely love the people that mean the most to me.
Happy New Year!